Tuesday, March 16, 2010

trying to figure it all out

an update on my biggest loser losses, i'm down to 236 lbs. as of last weigh in. in my eyes, that is great. not sure what this week will hold but i know i am making better choices. i am drinking more water and eating more veggies while cutting way back on the junk that my body does not need. i'm trying to count my calories best i can. i find counting calories kinda difficult sometimes bit i'm doing my best.

i've been doing some work on economizing for my family. i'm starting with our groceries and meal planning. i am working on a meal plan that i intend on saving and tweeking from year to year. my pal jen la rue has a menu plan for the year. i haven't seen it but i'm sure it is great. i asked her once how she does it. she told me that she sat down and made the plan because she hated trying to figure out what to have for dinner each night. she keeps it for the year and it has worked for her. i'm gonna give it a go. like she told me, how are you gonna remember that you had pork chops on march 15 or not?

so far i am finished with march and moving on to april. i don't want to work too far in advance because we have five busy schedules that influence our meal planning and i want to work within the commitments we have. one of the struggles i have is that i work in the evenings. i have to plan easy meals to prepare for my husband who keeps this busy gang going. i am a big advocate of the crock pot. it has really helped me to feed my family healthy, balanced meals more readily. my favorite group of books that help with crock pot cooking is the Fix It and Forget It series of books. i have gotten some of my favorite recipes from these books.

tonight's dinner comes from the original Fix It and Forget It page 138
Golden Glow Pork Chops
5-6 chops
salt & pepper to taste
29 oz can peaches, drained(i used pineapple as my gang does not like peaches)
1/4 C brown sugar
1/2 t ground cinnamon
1/4 t ground cloves(i omittted this because don't like cloves)
8 oz. can tomato sauce
1/4 C vinegar
1. lightly brown chops on both sides. sprinkle with salt and pepper and put in crock.
2. place drained fruit on top of chops and reserve juice.
3. combine all other ingredients and pour over chops.
4. cook on low 3-4 hours.

i'm serving with rice, applesauce, and peas/carrots.
i'll let you know how it turns out.

Monday, March 8, 2010

worthy

there is a part of me that wonders about whether i am worthy of love. i wonder if i am worthy of belonging. i wonder if i am worthy of being an example. i wonder if i am worthy of God's promises. before any of you, my friends start to worry. i'm okay. i just don't know my worth right now. i want to believe that i am worth God's grace. i want to believe that i am worth the love that other's have for me. i want to believe that i can be an example for someone. i'm just not convinced.

i work really hard and keeping myself grounded. i try to keep myself focused on the plan that God has for me. i try to live His plan. i try to remember the promise that He has made to all of us. however, even when i try, i can't seem to find myself in it all. i struggle to make sence of what i am supposed to be doing.

i hear so often people tell me to listen to Him. quite frankly, i can't always hear Him. i think there are more times when He is calling and i don't hear than times when i do hear. i want to believe that i am living the life He gave me but i'm just not quite sure.

so for now, i will continue to wonder if i am really worthy of it all. thank you to my friends and family for including me, even when i don't feel worthy.