the great search

i have been blessed to be at home with my children for their whole lives. i work in the evenings when husband is home. with the economy the way it is, i have met myself at a crossroads. i cannot imagine anyone else caring for the princess. i gave the time to the boys and a part of me feels guilty for even thinking of taking it from the princess. i have to consider what is best for our whole family. the economy is so tight and we can't quite make it the way it is now. with the drop in the economy, people are not eating out the way they used to. with less business at the restraunt, less money for me. i am doing the best with what i have but it is not enough.

now what do i do?

i pray that the Lord will guide me. i am searching for the right place for me and the princess. i have a dear friend that i know would help me with the princess's care. i trust her completely. it is not that i doubt her. i don't want anyone else raising my children. the blessing with this possibility is that i could be home in the evenings. that would give me more time with all of the children. as it is right now, on work days, i get about an hour with the boys before i have to leave for work.

i am walking with God who has always seen me through. i believe that He will give me what i need. the controlling part of me is having a difficult time leaving this in His Hands. i want it in mine. i know there is a place out there for me. i know that God will put in front of me. my prayer is that i will see it.