yearning for a deeper connection

recently, i have been dealing with a lot of changes in the lives of my children. aside from starting school and the three of them in three different buildings, they have grown a ton. as i watch them grow, i am reminded of the importance of my relationship with the Father. i see the importance of Him walking with them as they are away from me. then i realize that i need Him to walk with me too. i know He is walking with me but i need to invite Him to continually reside in me.



how the heck do i do that? i struggle for "me" time and now i am considering giving that time to Him. and i crazy? well, yes actually i am but not because of this. i need to find a way to focus on Him. i guess in some way by giving the time to Him, i am giving it to me. i want to learn more about all that He has to offer me.



part of learning about the abundance that He has for me is delving into the study of His word. that is where we find the abundance. i feel like i just don't know as much as i can. i just don't seem to retain it like i wish i could. there are people in my life that are able to share scripture with me and it just comes to them. i'm lucky if i can remember the books of the Bible let alone what the Bible says with any definitive purpose. i have a general idea of the Bible's teachings but i am longing for more.



i want to live the example of what God has for me. i want my children to know the intimacy that God can have with them. i don't want them to be afraid to share the closeness they are capable of having with Christ. i pray that God resides in their hearts because of their own invitation. i can only be the example of that by continuing the invitation myself.



wow! did all that just come from me? really? pray for me!